Comfort, Calmness, Confidence
by Car
Summary: "Do you know how many keys I have? A lot. I have a lot of freakin' keys." America loses every key he owns, which is a lot, if you missed that, and retraces his steps to try and find them. Simple enough, right? Like his life could be that easy.
1. Chapter 1

_**Prompt:**__ Alfred has lost his key ring, on which he keeps the keys to everything he owns. How does this affect his day? What does he do to recover his keys?_

* * *

His boss was going to _kill_ him.

It didn't matter one bit that, as a nation, a mere human (even when that mere human was the president of the United States of America) could not kill him single-handedly; he would figure out some way to do it.

Sadly, America had seen the man angry more times than he cared to admit, and it wasn't a pretty picture.

The First Lady was nestled comfortably on the plush couch in the sitting room under a cozy brown and red afghan reading a well-worn romance novel when he dragged himself over to the armchair and sat down miserably.

Blinking in surprised, the woman placed her old bookmark into the pages and removed her reading glasses. "Alfred?"

"Hey."

The First Lady raised an eyebrow. "Can I…help you with something?" She asked, and America couldn't help but inwardly scoff at the slight amusement in her voice

"Your husband is going to kill me."

"Oh honey," she said with a small smile. "Don't you think he would have done that already if he could?"

America was not amused. "I'm being serious!" He whined.

The woman bit back a giggle and sat up, patting the spot on the couch next to her. America reluctantly plopped next to her. "What is it, dear? What happened?"

"I lost something." He admitted, making sure to fix his gaze undyingly on the old-fashioned rug under the small glass coffee table.

"What did you lose?" She asked warmly.

Unfortunately, America found it increasingly more difficult to keep his gaze where it was. He let his eyes settle on the bowl of wax fruit on the table instead. "Something he gave me and told me to never, ever lose."

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh."

"Okay." She placed a delicate hand on the nation's nervously bouncing knee. "You can tell me what you lost, Alfred. I wont tell him if you don't want me to, and maybe I can help you find it."

America sighed heavily, allowing his eyes to now settle on the pretty zigzagging pattern on the blanket. "You promise you wont tell? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I'll be able to find it if I look hard enough, I just need a little time, and we're supposed to have this meeting at four, and you know how he gets when he's mad at me and with the economy the way it is he's been really grumpy an-"

"Alfred!" She exclaimed with a laugh. "Relax, honey. I wont tell him, I promise!"

"Okay…well…" He took a deep breath. "I lost my key ring!" He blurted suddenly. The First Lady jerked back a bit in surprise.

"Your key-?"

"My key ring." He miserably dropped his head onto her shoulder, which she patted nervously. "The one with all of my keys on it. _All _of my keys."

She cringed. "Oh my. That is quite a problem, isn't it?"

America snapped his head up, his eyes full of desperation. "Do you _know_ how many keys I have? A lot. I have _a lot_ of freakin' keys. Keys to each of my houses, the White House, all the rooms _in_ the White House, some to other nation's houses, my car…Oh _god_, I can't live without my car!"

"Alfred, relax," she sighed. "Deep breaths now, there you go. In and out, nice and slow, in and out." The First Lady tenderly rubbed the poor distraught nation's back in slow circles. Once he had calmed down and stopped hyperventilating, she offered him a comforting smile. "Now, whenever I lose anything, I just retrace my steps. Have you tried that yet?"

He shook his head. "Not yet…I just noticed it was gone, like, ten minutes ago."

"Well, there you go!" She smiled brightly, enthusiastically patting his knee. "You go on, and I'll keep the mean ol' president busy until you get back. How does that sound?"

America beamed. "Dude, you would do that?" When the first lady nodded, he threw his arms around her neck in a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you so much! I'll get right on that retracing my steps thing!"

"Good luck, Alfred!" She called, waving as the young nation ran out the door. With a small chuckle, she returned her reading glasses to their place in front of her eyes and picked up where she left off in her book.

* * *

Retrace his steps, huh?

Well, this could be interesting.

Today hadn't been what America would consider a "normal" day. Not that _any_ day in America's life could be considered "normal" by any means, but today had been particularly unusual.

First of all, Tony felt the need to freaking _abduct_ him first thing in the freaking morning. That had been fun. His extraterrestrial buddy had been doing that at least once every two months since they met, much to America's curiosity. He had once asked Tony what the deal was, only to receive a probe in reply.

He stopped asking after that and let him do his thing. No need to repeat _that_ again.

Assuming that he hadn't been spooning with his keys while he was sleeping for some reason, America decided to start off his search in Tony's UFO.

* * *

If questioned about it later, America would vehemently claim that he was not, in fact, standing in his back yard, yelling up at a spaceship as a whale sent him concerned and worried looks.

His neighbors, however, would testify that yes, that is exactly what was going on.

"Beam me up!" America exclaimed desperately. "Open sesame! I come in peace! Dagnabbit, how the hell do I get in this thing?"

The UFO sat unresponsively, mocking him.

"Shut up," he snapped at it angrily. Next to him, in the large aboveground swimming pool, his whale gave him an apologetic pat on the back. "Thanks dude," he said with a smile before fixing his face into a determined frown and marching back over to the stubborn ship. Glaring it down, the nation rolled up his sleeves tenaciously.

He puffed up his chest, ready to give the thing a piece of his mind, when the door suddenly fell open, landing directly on his foot.

"Son of a _BISCUIT_!"

Tony's head poked out from the open doorway, his big red eyes blinking owlishly at his human friend. "What?" he asked bluntly.

America looked up from where he was tenderly rubbing his foot and pouted. "You haven't seen my keys, have you dude?"

"No," Tony replied simply, ducking back into the UFO and retracting the door once again. America's face immediately fell. Well, that was absolutely pointless.

Luckily, America had used his keys to get his iPod out of his car before he headed to the meeting downtown, so at least he knew he still had them after being abducted by Tony.

A point he managed to remember only _after_ nearly breaking his foot.

_Awesome._

With a deep sigh, he took out his poorly scrawled upon post-it note, and crossed off "Tony's UFO" as a possible location for his missing keys and set his sights on the second bullet on the list.

WacDonalds.

* * *

**See that prompt up there? Sometimes when I need to get the creative juices flowing, I go to random prompt generators and let them give me ideas. THAT was the exact prompt, "Alfred" and all. I took it as a sign. XD Plus I wanted to give the First Lady some love. She rocks.**

**This is really just a little funny, silly thing I'm writing to keep my from going insane while I student teach. I seriously spend 8 hours teaching, then go straight to track for another 2ish hours, then spend ALL DAY on Saturday at meets, sooo I needed _something_ to keep me from going crazy!**

**ANYWAY! Go ahead and throw some suggestions of where poor little Alfie ends up throughout the day! :D Let's make this a fun time!**

**The title comes from step 3 of this guidebook on how to find lost shit. XD **


	2. Chapter 2

America's first course of action was to call Keith the armored car driver.

Normally, Keith was only called upon for important political type meetings and summits. Or, you know, when he was drunk. But America figured that without this car, this was the best option for traveling across the various continents.

"So where we off to, Al?" Keith asked, slipping into the driver's seat as America rolled down the privacy window.

"WacDonalds," the nation replied easily, slipping into the Chicago accent he always found himself speaking in when around the old Chicago native. "I lost my keys."

His pale green eyes connected with America's in the rearview window. "No kidding? That sucks, man! Don't you worry, we'll find them in no time!"

America smiled widely and gave the man an enthusiastic thumbs up. "Let's roll."

* * *

Keith pulled back of the car up to the luminescent speaker and rolled down the window on America's side.

In years past, America was a strictly Sunbucks Mocha Frap and egg croissant sandwich kind of guy in the morning, but once the economy started struggling, his boss made him make some changes. Not that it was a big deal, Egg WacMuffins were just as good, and a WacCafé Frappé was actually quite delicious.

"Welcome to WacDonalds!" the pre-recorded, animated voice chirped. "Would you like to sample our new 100% Angus Deluxe burger for only $4.99?"

America stuck his head out the window. "No thanks!"

There was a brief sizzle as the microphone was connected before a much less perky sounding voice took over. "Can I take your order?" It asked.

At least, America _assumed_ it asked, because it was barely audible through the heavy static. He furrowed his eyebrows before clearing his throat. "Uh...yeah. Um, I'm actually not here for food. I was here this morning, and I lost my keys and I was wondering if anyone found them."

"Okay," the voice cracked. "You wanted a number three with a chocolate shake?"

America blinked. "Where the hell did you get-? No! No, I'm looking for my keys! _Keeeeys!_"

"Extra cheese?"

"No!"

Keith sent him a look from the front seat. "See? This is why I said we should go in."

"Not now, Keith!" America spat, spinning to glare at the smirking man before turning back to the speaker. "Okay, listen _really_ carefully. No food. Noooo food! I'm looking for my keys. _Keys_. Are. They. In. There?"

"I'm sorry sir, we don't have pears. Would you like sliced apples with dipping sauce instead?"

"No!"

"That will be $5.53, please pull up to the first window."

America gaped at the speaker for a few moments, opening and closing his mouth before finally shutting it and leaning back into his seat with a pout. His eyes met the amused pair of his driver's in the rear view mirror, and he instantly narrowed them into a glower. "What?"

"You gonna eat that number three? 'Cause I missed lunch to cart your ass across the world and I'm feeling a little hungry."

"You're a douche."

"I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

The President pursed his lips, taking one last peak into the kitchen. Where_ was_ that boy? They were intended to meet to talk about his meeting with the G8 earlier that day at 4 o'clock, and it was already a quarter past.

Not that America coming to a meeting late was all that unheard of, but he always at least _called._

It almost made him think that the young nation was hiding from him, probably because he had done something stupid.

Oh god, he had done something stupid, hadn't he?

"There you are, sweetie!" The President jumped as his wife suddenly appeared out of nowhere, smiling with a rather creepy grin on her face. "I was looking everywhere for you!"

The President narrowed his eyes skeptically at his suspiciously acting wife. "_I've_ been looking everywhere for _Alfred_," he began slowly. "Have you seen him?"

"Alfred?" she asked _far_ too innocently for his taste. "Didn't he have that…thing tonight?"

He raised an eyebrow. "…Thing?"

"Yeah!" She exclaimed. "You know, that…thing. With the…people?" When the President responded with merely a perplexed look on his face, she quickly continued. "Anyway, would you come with me a moment? I have some stuff I need you to help me with."

"Stuff? You're being particularly vague tonight, dear."

The First lady laughed nervously, taking his hand and dragging him down the hall. "Well, you know what they say, less is more!"

She winced at herself, praying America found his keys and found them _fast._

* * *

Keith and America pulled out of the parking lot, Keith, munching happily on his Big Wac with extra cheese and apple slices, and America slurping on the chocolate shake he had taken reluctantly at Keith's insistence.

"So where to, little man?" the driver asked.

America groaned and lazily took his post-it from his pocket. "After breakfast I went to the summit. In France."

Keith thought that over for a moment. "That fruity, hairy boy that always grabs my ass?"

"That's the one."

The car made a sharp right. "You are one lucky S.O.B. that I like to you, boy."

America simply grinned, taking a long sip on his shake.

* * *

**Keith joins the rank of Larry the bodyguard from Executive Residence and Tom the workbitch from Stand Beside Her and Guide Her. XD He's a cool cat, and is also based partly on my father. :P**

**We are off to France! I got some neat suggestions for the future, so believe me, we are gonna have some fun! Keep giving me ideas! Seriously, even the most forgotten about character could make an appearance! **

**Hope you enjoyed, see you next time!**

**-Car**


End file.
